Every time a straight guy hears a friend is gay or bisexual, he is automatically skeeved. Without fail. The good ones eventually come around and begin to ask questions. A natural curiosity is born, and some assumptions are made because of societal misinformation.

The most common assumption is that every gay man has anal sex. While penetrative sex is the most common, and certainly enjoyable for a majority, there are some people who prefer oral only. There is something very entertaining about the look on a straight dude’s face when he is told this.

More than just some guys preferring oral, there are some who are only into hand contact. This segment of the gay population is small, but it exists and should not be forgotten. Nor should the ones who enjoy frotting.

Frotting is the one sex act that is exclusive to gay men, it is where two dicks are rubbed together. Usually, in a humping type of situation. This stimulates the men involved and gets them to their happy ending.

Notice that none of these involved anal penetration? Tell that to the straight guy in your life.

This myth is the most frustrating, as it is the most pervasive in pop culture. Not every gay man wants to “turn” a straight man. For sure, it is a fantasy that SOME gay men have but that does not speak to the majority. It is like saying because some straight men are rapist, that every straight man is going to rape someone.

Pop culture is partly to blame for this fantasy having it’s staying power. Movies like Call Me By Your Name feature a romance between a seemingly straight man and a gay man. This plot gives credence to the argument that gay men are always on the prowl for hetero guys to turn. There are many arguments to be made about this but the one that bubbles up to the top is sexuality is a light switch. You cannot go from gay to straight with the flick of a wrist or an amazing blow job.

In this case, it seems as though some guys try to hide behind a wall of heteronormativity in order to avoid admitting to wanting to try gay sex. And as for the gay men, the few who do seek straight men claim they are given signs that this is a thing the partner wants beforehand.

The one myth, some of us wish was true. Overheard as two seemingly straight guys walked by an NYC World Pride event, “Man, I would give anything to be gay. I’d never not be having sex.” From the outside, this is one that almost could be true. But alas, sometimes even the myths that should be true aren’t.

Just as with any other couple (or single looking for fun), there are multiple factors keeping this one from being true. Sometimes the mood doesn’t strike or especially when there’s a bad day at work, the hard-on eludes gay men. For those that enjoy penetrative sex, cleanliness could also be an issue. Nobody wants poopy dick.

Along the lines of cleanliness, or at least using it as a metaphor, fighting with one’s partner can lead to a messy situation in which sex does not help. All of this leads to: No gay men do not have sex all the time. We just wish we did.

Perhaps the most offensive of all the myths about gay men is this one. There is a large segment of people who believe that gay men are all attracted to one another and willing to jump into bed with one another. It’s not true. It was never true. Probably more than any other group, gay men segregate themselves into groups and then there are subgroups within the groups. And amazingly they are all named after animals (otters, bears, penguins Oh my!)

Such a splintered list proves that gay men are not all into one another. One needs only to ask a straight guy (or gal!) what they are looking for to see where this myth comes from. the typical answer is: “I don’t know. She has to be female, and um yeah, I don’t know. Maybe someone I can talk to.” Such high standards there.

Ask a gay man the same question and he has the criteria broken down into different segments. It appears as though there is a bit of projecting going on with straight people thinking gay men are all attracted to one another.

What myths surprised you? And what myths should we check out next?

Edward has written hundreds of acclaimed true crime articles and has won numerous awards for his short stories.

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