Why I Cut My Mom Out
And why it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
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People are shocked when I tell them I don’t talk to my mom. The shock turns to horror when they hear how long it’s been. 4 years. It’s been 4 years since I last talked to the woman who gave birth to me, and it’s not going to change any time soon.
“Come stay with me!” My mom encouraged as I tearfully informed her of the eviction notice in my hands. It was the last thing I needed in my life and yet it was inevitable.
For months, I had been battling a mysterious illness. Anything that went into my body, came out of it in five minutes. It was to the point that I couldn’t work. Didn’t want to even try. But not working means not getting paid. A chain reaction was set off. “It’s not a great idea. We’re both so set in our ways…”
She convinced me otherwise, so I moved back in with my mother in November of 2016.
Life With a Monster
The first night I was there should have been a warning. We played cards with my baby sister, Shannon and my brother-in-law. We told stories but there was one about my parents divorce that she took umbrage with. She punched my shoulder, one that I have tendinitis in, and said something nasty.
I snapped that the next time she hit me, she’d wake up in a jail cell. It was the first battle of many. Ultimately, she did apologize but the damage was done. Never had I been so sad to be right.
One would think after that sort of fight, the two people would calm down. No. Not in this case. It was just a warm up to the real war. Because with my mother, no fight is really over until she wins.
New Old Love
One night around Christmas, she went to the bar. She invited me to join her but I demurred. By this point, I was working again and had the money but who wants to go drinking with their mom? She came home with a guy, who my sister informed me was her ex-boyfriend.
My grandma used to tell me to trust my gut. And with this dude, my gut said he was bad news. It’s a weird position being the adult child living with a parent and not liking their partner. Saying something can damage the relationship and leave you homeless.
